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February 2012
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Dennis Jansen

On the record: Permission to Stab

Tracing liability

Professor T: “You can trace everything back to your mother. But we aren’t going to sue your mother just because she caused you, and you caused torts.”

Consent

Professor T: “It’s subjective… In a sexual encounter, what would normally be rape can be classified as a good or bad decision…”


On Vaccinations:

Professor T: “What do we call someone who marches down a row of people stabbing them in the arm?”
Student: “A serial stabber?”
Professor T: “…what about in this case?”
Student
: “A doctor with consent to stab?”
Professor T: “And is he liable?”
Student: “If he has permission to serially stab I guess.”
Professor T: “At first pass they can stab a couple of times,.. at least until they get it right. And why does consent matter, when dealing with a serial stabber? I like serial stabbers…”

Context and custom to infer apparent consent:

Professor T: “Mike, Let’s say you and Sarah go on a date tonight…”
Mike*: “Erm…”
Sarah: “I’m MARRIED!”
Professor T: “That makes it even more interesting!”
Mike: “Erm…”
Sarah: “Well, my husband’s pretty beefy…”
Professor T: “And he finds out! And you’re shocked, and you find yourself in a lot of legal turmoil…

The pain is just beginning…

Student: (dead silence)
Professor T: “And this was the easy question. I have three more.”

How to get called on:

Professor T: “Jake!”
Jake: “Uh?”
Professor T: “I saw you twitch right?”
Jake: “Uh… no… I was just scratching the back of my head.”
Professor T: “Well answer anyway.”

Professor T: “And Kevin since you’re my expert on all things surgically removed.”

* The names here are fake

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